Sometimes we are lost in conjecture: what happened to a loved one – why did he become so rude, irritable and cold? After all, the novel began so beautifully … Perhaps the matter is his personality. What is wrong with her?
In everyday life, psychopaths are called people with explosive temperament or simply eccentric. But in the strict sense of psychopathy – personality disorder. And according to statistics, most psychopaths are men.
They can be extremely charming, courteous and sociable with superficial acquaintance, but long relations with them are very toxic for their partners.
How to understand that we have a psychopath, and not just a person with a complex character? Of course, only a specialist can make a diagnosis, but what anxiety signals should pay attention to.
1. He looks at you down
The psychopath directly or indirectly emphasizes his superiority over a partner, who supposedly does not do not reach his level: “You are stupid and uneducated”, “You are too emotional”, “You are fat and notorious”.
Next to the psychopathic personality, the partner feels himself “younger in rank”, worthless and unworthy, whose task is to please and peace his idol.
2. His recognition of love is quickly replaced by indifference
He can carefully care for, and your honeymoon will be so romantic. But quite quickly he cools and begins to treat you dismissive. Relations with a psychopath resemble American slides: he loves, then hates, quarrels alternate with stormy reconciliations. Disrespect quickly develops into insults.
For his victim, this situation is truly traumatic and fraught with depression, neurosis, drug abuse or alcohol. And in any case – post -traumatic syndrome.
3. He does not know how to plead guilty
He never is responsible for what is happening and for his actions – others are always to blame. Even when his fault is obvious, he deftly yells and represents what happened as an involuntary mistake or joke. Or assures that he was misunderstood. Or that the partner is just too sensitive. In a word, he does everything to minimize his responsibility.
4. He uses manipulation to arrange you to himself
For a psychopath, courtship is only a game or sports: it seduces with the help of manipulative tricks, in which there is neither warmth nor sincerity. Kindness, attention, care, gifts, travel – for him only a means to get what is desired. He expects that later, when the candy-bouquet period will end, the partner will pay for all this obedience.
5. One partner is not enough for him
The psychopath does not know how to build close, sincere relations, it is quickly saturated and starts to search for new adventures. This does not mean that he will immediately abandon the boring victim – such people know how to combine several novels at once.
6. He aggressively reacts to any criticism
Outwardly, he makes the impression of a powerful, narcissistic and soulless person who does not give a damn about the experiences of others. But how sharply and with what aggression he reacts, when he is criticized, called into question or neglect them!
The reason is not that he is not confident in himself or needs to be approved by others. No, the whole point is that he believes in his superiority and power over others. And therefore does not endure if someone indicates his weaknesses or “incorrectly” with him.
7. It is important for him to feel like a
winner in everything
In his view, the world is divided into winners and losers. And for him it is very important to belong to the number of the first in everything, even in the little things. Such an installation is incompatible with healthy relations that involve cooperation, compromises and the ability to repent.
8. Next to him, you lose the ability to reason
With a fairly long relationship, the psychopath partner begins to experience cognitive impairment: he may have problems with memory, concentration, attention, motivation and self -organization. He becomes scattered, less effective, he is overwhelmed by anxiety.
9. He is eager to dominate
The psychopath likes to humiliate, control and depreciate others – so he affirms his power over you. But he does not endure if he is trying to point out his behavior, and falls into a rage. Moreover, he tries to take revenge on the “offender”.
10. He often hides the truth
This is another manifestation of his tendency to manipulation. He can only keep silent about something or lie in the face. Moreover, a lie can touch both minor trifles and very important things – a child on the side, permanent partner or marriage status.
eleven. He has no moral principles
The psychopath is neglecting social norms and moral rules and easily crosses through them. Fraud of various kinds, theft, harassment, intimidation, revenge in relation to the one who is in his way – for him all means are good.
12. He is not capable of deep feelings
With superficial acquaintance, he can captivate and demonstrate the sympathy, which is actually not capable of. In communicating with a stranger, psychopaths can prove himself much better than being used to behaving with a partner – especially if he needs to impress a strong person or cause envy.
13. He declares himself a victim
This is a typical form of manipulation when communicating psychopaths with an ordinary person who has empathy. They use our ability to sympathy and compassion, depicting themselves unhappy victims – and receive forgiveness for any sins. This allows them to avoid accusations and responsibility and achieve their goals.
14. Kindness and respect are alien to him
They have not developed a sense of empathy, so the partner is forced to re-explain to him how humanly to treat other people and what he is waiting for himself: “Do not talk to me like that! Please stop lying! Why are you so cruel and rude with me?”
15. You feel that you will never be good enough
The psychopath is inclined to blame, criticize and thereby belittle your partner: “You have dressed like a walking! You got out badly in the house! You have so frenzied! Don’t tell you a word! Think about what vulnerable! How annoying it!»He interprets any requests or demands of his partner as attempts to control it and perceives bayonets.